And you thought you could only grade diamonds based on the 4 Cs ? The bum enjoys the best & worst place in our life. As a random conversation item sometimes, or as an object of affection or for launching a surprise strike at other times, it certainly ain't a lady's best friend. The poor bum, as I will proceed to explain can make or break a woman's day and in turn prove to be pretty hard on the object of her outbursts !
Color: Irrespective of genetic make up your bum can be quite deceptive according to my so called trusted sources. Apparently, there are lots of magical products out there for being perfectly color coordinated with the rest of you ! Does it really even matter ? I mean, I would think that years of wear & tear of sitting on your own a*** would leave certain effects. Now I realize how that would be a dead give away for people who just sit on their a**** vs. people constantly on the move, like the proverbial wheat & the chaff innit ?
Complexion: The lesser said on this one the better. The all woman magazines don't spare anything to splash those even complexioned beauties in their summer bikini specials ! No expert comments here from me on this.
Contour: Now, if you were a qualified M.B.B.S(Member of the Big Bum Society) perhaps you'd appreciate the enormity of the problem ! An ample back side does pose some seating and silhouette issues. I won't even get started on the obsessive workouts to tone those gluteal muscles. The arduous process continues, thousands spent on limitless sessions with multiple trainers the glutes stay stubbornly there.
On the other hand, if you got lucky breaks in the films down south (in India) perhaps it'll help you retire early :).
Clothes: Ah yes ! The critical and perhaps the most important cover strategies stem from this C. Don't tell me you never look into a mirror side ways after you've worn those slim fit trousers and do a quick check on how your back looked ? Or wondered if the clothes are too tight, too lose, make you appear big or too small ? Should I pick a longer shirt or shorter one, a loser one or a tighter one ? Shopping for those perfect pants never was easy, the hips just made the challenge worse.
So..you've got it or you don't!
** The Essential Disclaimer:
Color: Irrespective of genetic make up your bum can be quite deceptive according to my so called trusted sources. Apparently, there are lots of magical products out there for being perfectly color coordinated with the rest of you ! Does it really even matter ? I mean, I would think that years of wear & tear of sitting on your own a*** would leave certain effects. Now I realize how that would be a dead give away for people who just sit on their a**** vs. people constantly on the move, like the proverbial wheat & the chaff innit ?
Complexion: The lesser said on this one the better. The all woman magazines don't spare anything to splash those even complexioned beauties in their summer bikini specials ! No expert comments here from me on this.
Contour: Now, if you were a qualified M.B.B.S(Member of the Big Bum Society) perhaps you'd appreciate the enormity of the problem ! An ample back side does pose some seating and silhouette issues. I won't even get started on the obsessive workouts to tone those gluteal muscles. The arduous process continues, thousands spent on limitless sessions with multiple trainers the glutes stay stubbornly there.
On the other hand, if you got lucky breaks in the films down south (in India) perhaps it'll help you retire early :).
Clothes: Ah yes ! The critical and perhaps the most important cover strategies stem from this C. Don't tell me you never look into a mirror side ways after you've worn those slim fit trousers and do a quick check on how your back looked ? Or wondered if the clothes are too tight, too lose, make you appear big or too small ? Should I pick a longer shirt or shorter one, a loser one or a tighter one ? Shopping for those perfect pants never was easy, the hips just made the challenge worse.
So..you've got it or you don't!
** The Essential Disclaimer:
- The author doesn't subscribe to the values above and will forever be an indebted and happy M.B.B.S !
- The author also feel that this post was instigated by a recent conversation & was meant in good humor ! Sorry if you think its ludicrous, unrealistic and plain stupid.
- I have to change my trusted sources soon !
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